What is loneliness?

Updated: Dec 31, 2020

Have you noticed that things have been off lately, in terms of your ability to interact with other humans? It’s impossible to be unaware that there’s a dangerous virus fueling a global pandemic. This has brought about a glut of feelings in an alarmingly vast segment of the population. One of the most stressful and sad feelings is loneliness.

Loneliness has a purpose. People need to be connected to others on a cellular level. The search continues for those where there is a connection, to join their safe circle of trust. When you have the need to be connected to another human (or many) and realize that it's missing, you may find yourself connected to feelings of loneliness, despair, and possibly even depression.

Loneliness can be triggered in many ways; awareness that a significant relationship ended, understanding that your current relationships are not emotionally satisfying, destructive to your mental or physical health, if you have lost a loved one, or if your access to social relationships has been changed because of a life circumstance (or a pesky global pandemic), or when you realize that you are not getting the connection and understanding that you need.

Loneliness is natural, it’s normal, and it’s an important emotion to pay attention to. Loneliness reminds you of your profound need to feel loved, to take care of yourself, and how important it is to feel all your feelings. Having the ability to speak with a confidant is paramount in your quest. Often just hearing yourself talk to someone safe allows you to have a different perspective!

When you're lonely, it's hard to remember that this emotion serves a purpose. After all, what possible purpose can this grief serve? If you consider how this emotion makes you feel, you will easily recognize that it’s purpose points to the fact that your relationships are not satisfactory and your emotional needs are not being met. Loneliness is a motivator. Although you may not believe it right now, you are able to take necessary action that hopefully will resolve or soothe these feelings. Remember that emotions do serve a purpose, no matter how unpleasant some of them can make us feel at the time.

In my life experience, I have been deep in the depths of feeling not only lonely, but alone, scared, hopeless, unloved. The feeling that you are an island in the sea of millions of happy people, all flaunting their amazing lives, jobs, relationships, and you are sitting by yourself trying to figure out what you can do (if anything) to extricate yourself from your feelings of sadness. Without hyperbole, I understand.

Due to the coronavirus (COVID-19), there is an enforced quarantine in many places. Some are extremely lucky to share this time with loved ones, trusted friends, germ pods. However, many people are isolated, and cut-off from important one-on-one interactions. Remember hugging? Remember laughing so hard with friends that you thought you might suffocate?

How can you help yourself feel better? Here are six ways for you to take action.

  1. Look at your life and actually write down (yes, do it if you can, it’s amazing) what you are thankful for.

  2. Call a friend or loved one, for no reason. Just talk.

  3. Use a service such as need2Bheard, which will give you a judgement-free outlet of trained empaths who may help you feel better about yourself and your circumstances.

  4. Allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with your sadness. This helps to reconcile your emotional state.

  5. Think about what advice you would give a trusted friend or loved one if they came to you seeking advice about their feelings of loneliness or sadness.

  6. Eat pizza. OK, I made that one up, but it helps me!

What do you do when you feel lonely? What did you used to do before the pandemic? Did you visit a friend? Visit a family member? Go to a movie with a buddy? None of that is possible now, so what do you do to quash the inevitable feelings of isolation, the feeling of missing your “normal” life, the inability to hug, kiss, laugh with friends… without a mask?

It seems these days more and more people are turning to the digital realm to help relieve lonely feelings. Too bad holographic 3D projection technology isn’t there yet!

need2Bheard is here to be just what you need. We provide a safe haven for your feelings that is NOT conventional/medical therapy. We allow you the absolute freedom of self-expression in a confidential environment of your choosing without exorbitant therapy costs, diagnosing you, or putting you “in the system”. It’s a safe, fun alternative on YOUR terms.

Be well!

Marc S.

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